A more suitable phrase for the cliche might be "third-life-crisis" as I am nearing my thirties. The other day, I actually blanked on what age I was, only to realize that yes, I am almost (but not quite) thirty. Not that turning thirty scares me. Just a surreal feeling, is all. And anyways, that's still a couple years away to go.
So, is this what the titled cliche that is oft thrown around feels like? The year is half over and I feel like I've done nothing, accomplished nothing. This is categorically untrue, if you look at my work life.
I've made some fairly nice strides at work this past year. It started off bumpy, what with me being thrown into the lion's den of a busy store in Inglewood, but I'm now a PIC (though admittedly, reluctantly so) at a nice store by Venice Beach. I haven't totally destroyed the store yet. My boss seems to like me. I'm not getting yelled at every other minute of the day.
The commute sucks. I'm developing heart-burn. I've been having more migraines. I think I am border-line pre-hypertensive.
Despite these pitfalls though, it is a new endeavor, and while I admit I did not want to take on such heavy endeavors so early on in my career, it's in my hands now and I want to run with it and see it through.
But poor, poor personal life. It is exactly the same as it was a year ago. Haven't read any new books (they are piling up), haven't organized my belongings (i.e. room is still a mess), haven't taken up the guitar, haven't taken any trips, haven't watched Lost, haven't met new people, haven't dated (YES! I've admitted to wanting to start dating again, but haven't made any attempts towards it whatsoever), haven't done much of anything besides working and sleeping. I'm so exhausted on my days off, I just want to lay. If I put half the amount of energy into my personal life that I did into my work life, I might be getting somewhere.
And therein lies the problem. I have no energy left!
But now that I've made these complaints and rants, I realize I sound mildly whiney, ungrateful and lazy.
If you want something to happen, you have to make them happen.
Time to make things happen.